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July 16, 2016

LOSING YOUR TRUE IDENTITY - let's chat

Hello there!  Grab a cup of something hot and sit a while this is going to be a long one...

If you receive my newsletter (and open it up, lol) you read my words on "something's got to give". The last couple of weeks I have been feeling a bit overwhelmed by lots of individual things but mostly by life in general. I am feeling like I have lost the joy in life's everyday beauty...like I've lost me.  So I knew it was time to slow down and regroup, which is what I'm doing right now.

flowers and coffee

I don't know how that looks for you but I thought I'd try and share what it looks like for me.


It always starts with simplifying.  I started by making a list (no surprise there, right?) of everything that has happened to me in the last couple of months that has me in this state of mind.  Things like my beloved dog Bear dying, my daughter and grand boys moving out, several unfinished projects around the house and blogging full time, along with general everyday life responsibilities.

simple country wisdom book

Once it was all written down I could see why I was feeling so frazzled.  That is a whole lot of life happening and there's no wonder I feel overwhelmed by it all.  So now, what do I do to restore order and my natural love of life?  What do I have some say in and what is out of my control?

Obviously, grief is out of my control.  The loss I feel over my dear sweet 11 year old pup is more profound than even I imagined it would be, in fact there are fresh tears welling up in my eyes as I type this.  The bittersweet reality of my grandsons moving out, sadness in the end of a season but joy in starting a new chapter in my life, is a real struggle.  I have no control over these two, they will just take time to come to emotional terms with, they must naturally run their course.

books on loving home

Unfinished projects and blogging full time I do control.  Unfinished projects is easy, I just made a list of what needs to be done and will finish up one project completely and move on to the next without putting pressure on myself to finish them by a deadline.  Which leads to blogging full time...

Simply put, it's not for me.  It takes more time (think 40 + hours a week) than I am willing or wanting to give, to do it well.  I have so much admiration for those of you who do it successfully. But the price was just too high for me and my family.  I love all the things I was writing about but in doing it six times a week I was losing me, I was losing my true identity.  As a wise friend told me, I was becoming someone else's vision of my authentic self.  In short, I didn't like me very much.

coffee and books

So you will notice a few tweaks here and there in the look and feel around here.  There will be no schedule, no rhyme or reason and no specific niche.  (Oh, how I've come to hate that word.)  I am who I am and I like me better when I share from the heart whatever is going on, whether we are just chatting about life or talking specifically about decor, gardening, fashion or faith.

I will still be on instagram and facebook plus I've added back my follow widgets and blogs I love to my sidebar.  My subscribe button is still there but I have changed the settings to go out once a week instead of daily so I won't overwhelm your inbox if you choose to subscribe that way.  I may still pass on sources or sales on my side bar that I have personally selected if I think you will like or benefit from them, just like I'd text or call a real life girlfriend.

It will be so nice not to be scrutinizing numbers and analyzing data.  If you want to unsubscribe or unfollow I am okay with that.  I hope you won't because I will genuinely miss you, but I get that your time is valuable and you need to be selective in how and who you spend it with.

And please comment, even if it's just a word or two.  I am a relational girl and that let's me know we are in this together.  If you are a "no comment blogger" I may not be able to respond but I will try to be better at it.

So if you are still with me this morning, welcome to Life on Lemon Lane.  I can't wait to spend time with you.

xo, Patty

Here's the link to more visiting in the let's chat series of posts.

25 comments:

  1. Hi Patty,
    I love your blog!!! Post when it feels right or you have the time.

    So sorry for your loss of your dear fur baby. Hope in time your heart heals,
    Hugs,
    Janie

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  2. Way to put what makes you happy first! If blogging went from something you enjoy to something you had to do-then you absolutely made the right decision! And when an email does pop up, I'll enjoy the little unexpected surprise that day! God's blessings to you, Patty!

    And I'm one of those always read and enjoy but never comment people, but wanted you to know I totally support you :-)

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  3. Good for you for making some blogging changes that will work and ring true for you and who you are, Patty. I'm very sorry to read about the loss of your dog. It's a heartbreak to lose a dear one.

    Karen

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  4. So very sorry for the loss of your sweet dog.Our pets are gifts, but they are gifts we cannot keep and letting go is always hard. God bless.

    I look forward to the "new" version of the blog and posts you feel inspired to share. Best to you -

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  5. I am glad you are listening to you...I have always loved your blog. I think it is easy to want it to be more. There are so many amazing people out there and I am happy for their success. When we have worked for many years too, it can be hard not to feel you need to do more, make more, etc. I struggled with that a good bit when I retired. I loved Sandra Stanley's Bible Study, The Comparison Trap. I have tried to just let things happen for me by taking it day by day. God seems to want me home, just helping my family and I am getting used to that.
    As for blogging, I don't want the pressure. I blog only when I feel I have something to say. Like I said though, it is hard not to put pressure on yourself and think "I can do more." YOU are a creative person and blogging can be an outlet or a feeling of drudgery.

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  6. Good luck on the next part of your journey, Patty. I hope life settles down for you and you are able to just sit and be and process all the changes you have been through. There is something about building some room into your life to be still that helps you see things more clearly!

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  7. Patty this post speaks so well to what I have been going through. Overwhelmed, and I have to admit, social media and the way we push ourselves on it is a big part of it. I struggle with whether I will continue blogging at all. I feel like I have less to share of late and forcing a post just doesn't work for me. My daughters want me to continue, and now that they are married and out of the house I recognize that is a good way for them to keep up on what is going on so I will probably continue. It is sometimes difficult to ignore the pressures to be "successful" at blogging though. They are all external expectations and I have to fight them in order to be my authentic self rather than some kind of "presence" online. I want to find the joy in blogging again! AT one time it was just a fun way to share with friends, if I take the expectations away, I think, I HOPE, it can be that way again.

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  8. Patty, I think part of what you are feeling is empty nest feelings. The loss of your pet and the children moving out. Even if there were days of wanting to pull your hair out...it can still feel sad when they are gone. I am wishing you peace...knock that to do list down and start taking time to relax. Or spread that list out with rest periods in between projects. I have always loved visiting your blog. You know , especially your fashion shows. Blessings to you sweetheart, xoxo, Susie

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  9. I actually just found your blog and am enjoying reading your past posts. I will continue to follow you in your new path. I started my own blog on July 1st and I already know I can't post if I feel like I should or have to. I can see how that would be very stressful. So sorry about your pup and, now your empty house. Sending happy, healing thoughts your way.

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  10. Patty,
    Whew!
    I truly understand where you're coming from, dear friend!
    I try to do a post a week. . .but when my frozen shoulder hit full blown,
    it was impossible to do that. I couldn't do that which I love. . .besides blogging.
    Thank goodness, most of that is behind me now!
    As I told the Orthopedic Surgeon, "I am grateful for all that you've done,
    but after 7 long months, I'm ready to re~claim my life!" (He smiled)
    In all ways, first and foremost, be true to thine own self!
    You just keep doing that which you enjoy and do well!
    As your friend in The Land of Blog, I'll keep following along your journey with you!
    Fondly,
    Pat

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  11. I understand, Patty. Life can be hard, tearful, sad and overwhelming (I'm so sorry about your dog). I have a big change coming in my life in just two weeks, too - our son who just graduated from college is moving back home. He's been away for three years, so this will be a big adjustment for all of us.

    Blogging takes a lot of time and effort! I think those that don't blog truly can't understand how much thought and editing it takes to write a post; not to mention taking the photographs and editing them, too. I only blog when I feel like it; I've never had a schedule for this. And I might not have a ton of followers or be one of the "popular" bloggers, but that's OK. I'm fine with my little blog and the followers I do have. :-)

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  12. Sorry about the loss of your fur kid. Dogs are all important in my life. I have done death row dog rescue work for over 40 years saving one dog at a time and finding them forever homes. I have lost many of my very own sweet dogs over the years. The last love I lost, was last Nov when I had to say goodbye to my sweet Rott-Mastiff. I completely understand your pain. Please be open to adding a new dog that is in need to your life. He or she will not be the same as your last dog but you will learn to love again.

    Good for you to take a break from your great blog. I actually don't read every post from bloggers that post more than once a week. I mean it gets really old and fast. Especially when the power bloggers take a hundred pictures of their chandelier or roses in the sink. Uggg.. boring and you can spot it immediately in many of their posts. So go refresh, don't feel guilty. You own no one here anything. I have not posted in over a year and a half. Life goes on and so will you. Be blessed as you heal and take much needed time away from being on the computer. It is so refreshing to detach from technology. I even dumped my cell phone some years ago and have never missed it not even one day. Take care.

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  13. Great post. You have to be true to you. Nothing should take up so much of our time.
    I'm so sorry about the loss of your pup and the kids moving out. That sounds like it was a lot going on at once.
    Katie
    Let's Add Sprinkles
    Found you through Nana Diana.

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  14. I know exactly what you mean in this post....I applaud you for sticking to "you" and following your own, unique path. I love your blog and look forward to seeing what you have to share! Sending you hugs..

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  15. Good Morning! There is a big difference in "HAVING" to say something .... and having "SOMETHING" to say. I can always tell when you are struggling. It comes through in your words and or lack of words and I can always tell when you are blogging from the heart. What I appreciate most about your blog is the fact that you are "real" and make us feel like we are friends. I can almost always relate to what you post. Be encouraged and know that God loves you very very much :)

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  16. Blogging is an ever evolving endeavor. I always wonder who I am blogging for - my family, blog friends, myself? As long as we still enjoy it we will carry on.
    I am just relieved that Life on Lemon Lane will continue.

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  17. I really loved this post. I'm more of a creeper than a commenter LOL but I always read your posts. I too lately have been trying to kick start my blog again by blogging everyday but with all that always seems to be happening in my life I'm having a hard time with it. I'm not sure if it's for me or not but I am sure time will tell. I'll still be here reading your posts :)

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  19. Can I just hug you right now? You have a lot of comments, so I hope you're still reading and actually get to this one :)

    Yes! Yes! Yes! You need to be you, which is Patty, who is much more than a fashion model! I love your fashion posts, but I was missing the amazing decorations and talks about home and crafts and how you rearranged or bought a new Pioneer Woman dish. Those every day things is what I come here for, so this post is touching my heart.

    I think it's good to try new things. I mean, you've seen me do the same! But, at the heart of it all, people who keep coming back are coming back because we like YOU and enjoy getting to be a little part of your every day life.

    Blessings from Texas :)

    You're on a great track!

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  20. Oh Patty, Patty, Patty....first, I am so very sorry to learn that Bear has passed. I know you are mourning the loss of him, and as you said, time is the only thing that will help that hurt. I read each word on this blog post, and found myself nodding along in agreement. I so understand every word. I went through what I was calling, a midlife crisis recently. I was so out of sorts. I made big changes in my life, and it was HARD!!! But it was necessary, and now I am seeing the benefits of having done so. Life is hard sometimes. But we must always, follow our hearts to where we find our happy place..
    Love you girlfriend...
    xo Kris

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  21. I just subscribed so I won't miss your posts! Take your time - I'll be ready when you are! Best wishes!

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  22. I love your posts. I am 50 something too. I enjoy your insights on life.
    Thanks for blogging!

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  23. Patty, funny that you decide to slow down on your blogging and I am following you now just because of that fact. I, too, am a nearly 50 year old woman at a cross roads. I am feeling true conviction to be much more intentional about my witness and pouring into the lives of others. I am currently working a job that is absolutely draining all of my energies to the point that I have nada at the end of the day for my husband or my community. I know God is calling me to make some hard choices, but obedience over financial stability has always been the direction He leads me and it always turns out to be His best for me. I look forward to watching/reading your 'rest of the story'. Blessings!

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