Setting boundaries is hard for me. I've gotten better at saying no as I've gotten older but it is still not my natural response.
One of the things I've learned in saying no is that sometimes (probably most of the time) people would rather have you turn down a request up front than have you either say yes and have a bad attitude, or say yes and not have the time to do the job justice, or worse yet, say yes and then flake out at the last minute.
Another thing I've learned is that sometimes saying yes is actually the selfish answer. I have mentioned before that I am a people pleaser and saying yes is a big part of that. Sometimes I say yes to please someone and sometimes I say yes to have someone think more highly of me.
What I can fail to realize is that my yes may take the opportunity away from someone else. And that someone else can very likely be more qualified in time and ability than I am.
Also, when I say yes too often I eventually have to say no to other things, I mean there are still only 24 hours in a day. Something's got to give. Usually that something for me is time with my family and time to myself. Neither of which provides for a healthy environment.
I have found that saying no to a few things has meant that I can say yes to more time for me. More time to dream, more time to garden or more time in my studio. More time dreaming and creating feeds my soul and allows me to offer my family and other commitments a happier more satisfied person. One that doesn't feel as stressed and stretched out.
And ultimately, I believe that allows me to be the best me possible.
Are you a natural boundary setter? Is it easy for you not to become over committed by saying yes to too many people or projects? Or do you need to start setting boundaries in order to be the best you?
Have a wonderful weekend!