My youngest daughter moved out in the fall and I think I let the busyness of a baby shower and the holidays distract me and it is only now that life is quiet again that I find myself drifting, a bit like a boat with no sail.
When you have kids in the home your role as mom is clearly defined, your days have a routine and a flow to them and there isn't a whole lot of time to ponder your future. But when that routine is no longer necessary and the rhythm is interrupted, the days seem to run together without a whole lot being accomplished.
I suppose each major life crossroad has us asking that question...graduation, marriage, kids, divorce, death of a loved one, retirement or an empty nest...so what's next?
It's not that I'm sad about my current place, in fact I think it's just the opposite, I love my life. I am excited to pursue some long held goals and desires. I've written out a plan for the next year and the next five years and even my husbands retirement in another ten.
I think it's more just beginning...taking that first step. Reaching out to grab hold of a dream is a bit scary. What if I hate it? What if I can't do it? What if I fail?
I love the quote that says,
"But mamma, what if I fall?
Oh darling, but what if you fly?"
I don't think I'll waste anymore time worrying about failure. Goodness knows I've been there before and survived. I thinks it time to test these new wings and fly.