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January 30, 2014

love is kind...

Doesn't it seem that words can go in and out of style?  Times when their importance is emphasized and others when they just fall out of favor or at the very least, off the radar screen?


Words like awesome.  For a while there everything was awesome.  From the flavor of the latest coffee drink to the glory of a majestic sunset, if it was good, it was awesome (and if you're from California, it was awesome dude). 


I kind of feel that way about kindness.  There was a time when we stressed kindness, to our kids, to our spouses and just to the world in general.  We were taught that being kind was a virtue, that if you loved someone you were kind to them.  Is it just me being cynical or is that not true so much anymore?

Kindness has gone from a virtue to a weakness.  From aspiration to avoidance.  In this me centered, paranoid culture we live in I think people are afraid to be kind, to trust and to be nice. 


Somewhere along the line we have pushed the idea that "love is kind" into the corner.  Now, love is grand and expensive and over the top. 

Every day kindness has been replaced by lavish date nights or production style birthday parties.  Somehow our husbands just being good, kind, hardworking men, isn't enough.  They need to wine us and dine us and jet us off to far away locations and provide us with the latest gadgets, trinkets and decor...that's love.

And men look at all the stimulus available to them at every level and expect women to attain that level of perfection in their looks and their work and their homes.


It sounds grand on the surface but in reality, it's exhausting and unsustainable.

Marriage (and life in general) is hard enough without adding to it the expectation of living the life of a Hollywood couple.  Real life relationships take work and forgiveness and acceptance of others short comings and in return theirs of ours.  In reality, most of us will never board a private plane, travel with an entourage or even have a stamp in our passports. 


We need to make that okay again.  We need to make it enough to be kind to each other, to respect each other and to appreciate the occasional night on the town, even if that's just a trip to Sizzler.


A little kindness in love goes a long way in easing hurt feelings and overlooking insensitive comments.  A little kindness to our children shows them that being at home is the safest place to be.  A little kindness in the world can restore someone's faith in others and maybe even encourage them to be kind to someone else.

"Love is patient and kind.  Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude.  It does not demand its own way.  It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged.  It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out.  Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance."  1 Corinthians 13:4-7

Okay, I'll jump off my soapbox now.  Just don't get me started on gentleness...

xo, Patty

23 comments:

  1. I know what you mean! I was off sick from work one day and watched some day time t.v. I thought to myself....if that is what people think the world is about no wonder a lot of people don't care about others. Not saying that there aren't a lot that do care....but. I am called too sensitive at times because I care too much. I found out that my mom has inoperable cancer and I was crying at work. A couple of people told me that I should wait until I learn more about what will happen before I get so upset. At least only a couple told me that she is 83! Like age makes a diifference when you love someone. I think that we are getting a lot less sensitized. Everything should fit in a box. Kindness and caring are a after thought for some people. O.K. now I am on my soapbox. :)

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    1. Teresa, I'm so sorry for your loss. When my dad passed away at 81, I too was surprised at some people seeming to be less compassionate because of how old he was. I learned to be careful to whom I shared my loss with. People who have suffered it firsthand learn the significance of having loved someone so many years and then losing them.

      As the world gets farther and farther away from Biblical values, kindness is harder to find. But how much brighter our lights for God will shine with the contrast? :) Let's point others to Him with kindness and gentleness in generous amounts!

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    2. Teresa and Julie. My dad was 80 when he passed away and he had been sick a very long time. I still was not ready to let him go, even though I knew he would be in a better place and free of pain. There is no easy age to lose someone we love. Kindness does matter. And one day it will be a beacon leading others to the ultimate Source of kindness and love.

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  2. Oh- You have hit the nail on the head with this post! I told my hubby and kids that if I am remembered for anything someday that I will be remembered as being a kind person. I think kindness is love based and there is too little of it in this day-to-day world anymore. GREAT post- xo Diana

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    1. I hope the same thing Diana. I hope I've shown them how to be kind as well. I am not always but I do try to be an example. Unfortunately, my family knows how I often I fail. I am really going to work on that. They should be the first recipients of our kindness.

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  3. My husband has done some fantastic things to celebrate our love over the past ten years of marriage. But the most memorable and sweet has been over this past month as he has loved me with such kindness and tenderness as we went through a miscarriage. He sat with me in the emergency room and pet my hair as I got yet another iv...he held my hand and said nothing when there was nothing to say. Kindness and gentleness are the loudest ways to say I love you. <3 You are so so right Patty.

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    1. Sweet Mindy, you took me to the hospital room that I found myself in over 20 years ago facing those same I.V.'s and my dear hubby is the one who stroked my hair and reassured me even as he was facing the same loss in his own heart. Kindness does say love the loudest.

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  4. Oh my gosh Patty you are in my brain. I love this. I agree 100%. I still hear myself telling Quinn to "act kind." I agree it is when you are strong that you control your emotions and are kind even if you don't feel like it. I am setting this to share today. Everyone needs to read it.

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    1. It is so important to teach our children and grandchildren to be kind, considerate and respectful. I can only imagine the world without those virtues practiced.

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  5. Excellent post! I agree with you completely- and am convicted in my own lack of kindness on many occasions.

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    1. Thanks Jenniffer. I convicted myself as well. I want my family to remember me as kind and have to guard my tongue against speaking before thinking. I think we all do.

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  6. Oh, Amen and Amen Patty. Your soapbox is just what this world needs, carry on. And what about gentleness?

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    1. Oh my friend, that's a whole other post...lol

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  7. I couldn't agree any more with every word of this post. It's just soo true. A little kindness really does go a long, long, way. I do need to spend more time thinking of ways to pass it around more. Goodness knows I like to be on the receiving end of it, and so of course would everybody else. Great post!

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  8. Patty, I have little sign in my hallway...it says "kindness matters". I like to be kind to people. Some make it hard though.LOL We can't give up. Blessings to you,xoxo,Susie

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  9. What a beautiful sentiment, and so well said. Thank you for the reminder!
    Kari

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  10. Such a beautiful post and so well said! I find that people in public are especially rude these days. Just today, I was standing in line at Michaels when I was abruptly bumped into by a woman passing by me to get to her husband was was in front of me. She never said "excuse me" while passing by or even "I'm sorry" after she bumped me. Then I went grocery shopping and my cart was parked in front of a dairy case. A woman came over by my cart and decided to try and reach for something in that dairy case where she was trying to shove my cart out of the way. I said under my breath as I was moving my cart, "Wouldn't hurt to say excuse me!" That all said, I know I could practice a little more kindness at home with my husband. He's a gem.

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  11. Patty, You are so right. Awesome post Dude! =) (Love that little owl. He is so cute!)

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  12. Sad, but true. I really do not like to see the younger generation wanting, and expecting so much in their young lives. What happened to being happy with what you have? Now they all must have granite countertops, and new this, and new that, and drive the best cars, and so on, and so on. I do not like it. I yearn for simpler times.
    xo Kris

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  13. Beautiful post, and so true.

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  14. Your post is so true. The world of people has thrown away the words of God. So sad. And the churches have replaced the bible with the view screening . Then text and not the phones.

    No communication at the supper table or calling out to the kids. Supper. In the house they text to room to room and even at the supper table. . Sorry got carried away. Where has the time with families at home. Replaced with gadgets.

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