When the challenge went out from Edie over at life in grace to find my "unword" (whatever word you want to undo in your life) it didn't take me long to settle on this one...
Such a nasty word for us women isn't it? I have struggled with it my entire life. I can remember as far back as kindergarten and wishing I was someone else or that my life looked like someone else's. I was never thin enough, pretty enough, athletic enough, popular enough, I just wasn't enough.
I grew up in an intact family and I was loved. I know my mom will be reading this and I don't want her to think it was anything she did or didn't do. I can't explain it and I am not sure when it even began but at some point early on I started thinking that the grass was greener in other people's yards and the comparison began.
What I do know is that I am tired of it. I am tired of letting that nasty word suck the life out of what I have been blessed with. I have gotten better as I have aged but it still pops up when the universe doesn't spin according to my plans and purposes. My thoughts will start to drift off to what I perceive other peoples lives to be.
Here's the thing with the mind, once you begin to believe a certain way or think a certain thing it is extremely difficult to reset your default button. Even though I know that nobodies life is perfect and that we will all have times of color and times of black and white, without changing the way I think, I don't have a chance of ridding myself of comparing my life with others.
One of my memory verses this year is Romans 12:2.
"Do not copy the customs and behaviors of the world but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God's will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect."
As long as I am focused on God's will for my life, what's happening in other peoples lives isn't important. As long as I am living my life for an audience of One, it's just me and Him and I have know one else to compare my life to.
I loved this challenge. I am all about seeking out one positive word to focus on each new year but how much better served my life will be if I can give over my "unword" to the One who desires to give me a life which is good and pleasing and perfect. How much easier it would be to live the life I was intended to live.