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May 2, 2013

moving day

I am feeling a little melancholy today as I watch my daughter load up her little Chevy Cavalier with boxes and tubs of her things to take to her new apartment.  She is 27 years old so it is time for crying out loud, but for the majority of those 27 years she has been under my roof refusing to do what I asked, slamming doors, rolling her eyes, leaving food containers in her room, borrowing gas money and in general being the strong willed child she was born to be and it will take some adjusting to. 


She has also provided constant companionship, been a more than willing shopping partner, ready for a mani/pedi at the drop of a hat, my Twilight movie date and fellow lover of Chinese food not to mention the mother of my more than just a grandson baby boy.


You would be right if you were guessing that the tears are welling up in my eyes as I type this out.  Lord, that girl has given me a gray hair or two (a whole head full actually) she has had me on an emotional roller coaster since she strutted her sassy self into our lives at four years old. 

There have been times when I wondered if this day would ever come and there were times when I thought it couldn''t come soon enough.


I warned you I would be a sappy mess today and I am. 

Last night was the last time she will come home from work living under my roof, interrupt my watching of American Idol with her tales of impossible patients under her care and the oozing messes she must deal with on a daily basis.  This morning was the last time she will come down the stairs with my grandson bouncing behind her.


Mothers of strong willed little ones beware...they do eventually grow up and you will not be ready for it.  I know you think you will be but a part of you will wonder how they will manage without you.  They will, of course...just like she will because as much as it might have seemed like she was totally tuning me out, she heard me and she will be just fine.

 (She will be, won't she?)

xo, Patty

30 comments:

  1. Yes Patty, with you as her mother, she will be just fine. I know you are sad. But this day always comes. This was a particularly beautiful post.
    Brenda

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  2. Sending you a big ol hug!

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  3. Hold your breath this is the 2013. I heard on the radio the other day. That grown kids your daughters age are coming back with all their baggage like you just wrote and saying being away from home they miss Mommy. I go . Oh No. Even University Kids cannot get jobs so they come home to Mom and Dad . Also the married ones come back with like two kids and the hubby to live.

    So better decorate her room and take out the bed use it as a art room or anything or it will be a place she calls home again. So dont hang on to the Melanchony too long Mother. Like you said. For crying outloud.




    Hugs

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  4. Patty - She will be fine but that doesn't mean that you can't cry and miss her terribly - and especially that precious little boy! When you have those little ones around and they are all of a sudden gone, it is such a void in our lives. But you will survive!

    Sending you prayers and a hug!

    Judy

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  5. Ah, I'm feeling you here. She will be fine. My son who is graduating from college next week (!) will be moving all his things out in a month. I still don't know how I'm going to cope, but I know he will be just fine. I said a prayer for you both. ;)

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  6. I'm there with you - my 19 year old left for university in September and she was about as strong willed a character as you could meet - oh and did I say opinionated, and self righteous, and stubborn! But on the flip side she's fun, kind, caring and - best of all - happy. I look forward to her visits now with bated breath but I'm missing the mess a little less each time! Big hugs coming over from Staffordshire xxx Jane

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  7. Our adult children live nearby, which is wonderful. I hope you will see her and your grandson often and your relationships will even grow with a bit of distance. You took a pretty photo, that last one, with the scrapbook and flower bouquet.

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  8. Wow, sounds like so many of us Mom's have strong willed daughters in common. Everything you wrote in the beginning of your post also happened to me. I could not wait for her to go to College. That was 5 yrs ago! Well, she is now back for the first time in 5 yrs. After she moved out of the dorm after 2 yrs she lived off campus in apts. with friends. Did I mention she's back now?! She's been slowly moving her stuff back in for the last few weeks. She's accumulated ALOT in the past 5 yrs. Her "bedroom" was my guest room of sorts for when my FIL came to stay. Now it looks like a tornado went off in there. She gets overwhelmed very easily, so I told her to work on it a little at a time. I should never have said that! She has no respect for the beautiful room she has. And now she is almost 23 yrs old and doesn't have to answer to Mom and Dad anymore....she thinks! I am hoping for good things happening this weekend, as she has it off from work. Ground rules need to be set! I missed her when she was gone, but not the living at home miss, it was the daily interaction and knowing she was safe that I missed. I do realize it must be totally different when a grandbaby is involved! Take a few days and then let yourself be okay with her moving on! We were to be empty nesters this Fall, as our baby will be going off to College....not now. That is what I'm going to miss, time with my hubby again!

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  9. Well, this made me tear up! I am thinking I can't wait for an empty nest, but now I am not sure! I am 45 and my kids are 9 and 11. By the time it rolls around I'll be up there!! This really was a lovely post. Well written and sweet!
    Karen

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  10. Oh, I have been down that road with a daughter that seems a bit like yours. When she moved into her first home from our home with her 5 year old son, it was a BIG adjustment. Two months later our twin daughters married and one moved a 6-hour drive from here. We went from a house full of seven to just the three of us. We were in a funk for about a year.

    Changes are hard for sure. I know you will rebound too!

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  11. I know how hard it is, but it gets better. Promise. Besides, just because she will have her own place doesn't mean you won't see her!:>) She still needs you.

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  12. I can sympathize with you, it is such a bitter sweet moment when this happens! Best wishes to your daughter and you on your new adventures!

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  13. I know how you feel! (Mother of 4) It does get better, it just takes time. And now every visit will be a special occasion! And you can visit her!
    Big Hug. xoxo

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  14. I feel for you, dear. I never want an empty nest. My baby is still home and although it can sometimes be a battleground here, I love her to pieces and will miss her terribly when she goes off on her own. Every mother/daughter relationship is different, as are the feelings of we mothers on our ideas of what an empty nest means to us. I still think change is hard no matter the circumstances, but hopefully it makes us stronger.

    XO,
    Jane

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  15. She will, she will! And I'd like to ask you to quote me on that when I go through this w/ our son in a few years!

    Sleep tight and sweet dreams, my friend. Tomorrow morning will be all yours. Welcome it. xo ~Sally

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  16. Great post...as a mother of a strong willed child I totally get this...hugs as you all transition.

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  17. Gee whiz you gals are making me feel bad. When our last one left it was kinda like - aaahhhh.
    Last one was not easy, at 11 20yr. old guys were after her at the beach and anywhere. Where was that chastity belt? I mean really. She was also very smart and mature for her age having had 2 big brothers and an older sister. She was never just our baby, she was loved and taken care of by the bigger kids alot also.
    I had 3 young kids when hubs and I married so when all the kids left we got to find if we liked each other or not being alone. lol. Now we're together 24/7 and are still finding out if we like each other. Sometimes not so much but others alot. I got too used to being alone for weeks at a time when we lived in MT and then KY. When we moved to MT from San Diego I went trucking with hubs. 2 youngest kids live close by (Grand Junction, CO area) and oldest two moved back to San Diego from MN and KY. I've wished many times I was the kind of Mom that wants her kids to stay closer/at home longer but it just isn't me. What kind of Mother does that make me?

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  18. Oh boy ........hugs It's all about change isn't it? Which for me is difficult because I like routine and sameness and grandchildren under my roof. ;)

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  19. My heart just aches for you and all mothers who go through an empty nest. Sending a big hug.... (very cute layout!)

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  20. Oh Patty I so want to give you a big hug. x

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  21. You will both be fine..It's time !! She needs to do it herself?? Hugs..

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  22. I know it's hard, Patty, but all of you will be fine! Of course your emotions are going to be up and down - only normal. My 22-year old son is moving out July 1st. He'll be going to university 1-1/2 hours away and renting a house with some other students.

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  23. Patty,
    She will be...
    because she has so much of your love inside her!!!
    Prayers for transition time coming your way,
    for all of you, dear friend!!!
    Fondly,
    Pat

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  24. I know exactly what you are going thru...my 26 year old daughter recently movie out and I still have mixed emotions. They will be alright, but I'm sure she will still be needing her mom.

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  25. Well this was sad but also quite funny in the way that you wrote about her : )

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  26. It's so hard to imagine the everyday with out them with us! Wishing you the best.
    Michelle. thebashfulnest.blogspot.com

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  27. Great Moms become the best Grandmas.
    Happy Mother's Day to you and your daughter!

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  28. She will be fine, although she and you will have your doubts at times. To say that I know how you feel is not an exaggeration! But trust me....getting used to an empty nest....doesn't take long at all!!!

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