}“ }

September 3, 2011

reflections on a saturday morning


I thought I’d bring my coffee out front this morning and check on the damage our recent heat wave has had on my perennial bed.


What a nice surprise it was to find some delphiniums sending up new flower stocks and even a few fall blooms on the azalea bushes amongst the burnt up roses. Pretty soon I’ll be heading to the nursery for some mums to usher in autumn full force. The forecast is calling for a few more days in the triple digits next week so I better hold off just a bit.


I’ve had a few days to ponder your responses to my Tuesday post here and wanted to share a few comments with you and get your feedback.

 
"Unfortunately in this country we make it very difficult for new Mom to stay home when their children are born. In these tough economic times many young mothers must work to help keep their families afloat." Cottage and Broome 

"To answer your questions, What is lacking in our society I'm not sure. I love being a mother and i could care less for the reality tv lives. I think integrity and loyalty are things that are always needed, but good grade are needed too. I hope to teach my children all three. I don't think there is anything that brings me more joy that my children, they brighten my days in ways I never thought possible before becoming a mother." Cassie





I got married in the 80’s and the issue of working mom vs. stay at home mom was going full force with women on both sides blasting each other’s choice. It was kind of a surprise to me that young moms still face the same issues nearly 30 years later.


I have always worked outside the home. When my children were small this caused me considerable guilt. My hearts desire was to stay home full time with them but unfortunately, (due to so many factors and short of selling our small home) this was not possible. I know there are some of you who are thinking that if I truly wanted to, we could have swung it. Maybe...who knows?


But you can’t go back…a good reminder to everyone putting off your dreams…I was, however, fortunate enough to work part time through the tween years and am thankful for that.


What about you? Did you/do you struggle with guilt over staying home and not contributing to the household income or are you a work away from home mom who questions the time away? I’d love to hear your thoughts.


I think what I’ve learned with age, is that we all do what we can, with the wisdom we have, at any given time in our lives.
When we mess up (which we all do) we say a heartfelt “I’m sorry” for the mistakes, you pray you’ll do better the next time, you pick up the pieces, and you move forward. So many of us waste precious time looking back and miss what’s happening today.


My hope is that in the ensuing 30 years, we’ve learned to support each other as women, realizing that none of us knows the full story behind the decisions other families make. That we encourage each other and that we hold out a hand to help one another up when we fail.



I hope you all come back for coffee on Tuesday. I promise some much lighter conversation starters.

Patty

8 comments:

  1. A lot of lovely color still going on for you despite the nasty heat.
    Cher Sunray Gardens

    ReplyDelete
  2. Good Morning, I love seeing what's new in your garden. It's hot this week up here as well. Our summer weather lasts long past the start of Fall. I'm looking forward to the rains returning so that we can declare an end to fire season. We're always on the lookout for smoke this time of year. It will be nice to breathe a sigh of relief when the weather changes in Nov/Dec. Take care.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I love walking through the garden in the morning with my coffee!

    I wish all new moms's could stay home with full pay until their children are at least 2 yrs. old!

    ReplyDelete
  4. You sure do have an awesome green thumb and a lovely place to have coffee in the mornings. When we finally get some cool weather I will get some Fall color for the patio.

    Not having children there was no reason to stay home so I worked but was able to stop some 10+ years ago.

    About looking back. Like you said, so many do this but they dont look ahead. I know many in my family that are stuck in looking at the negative past and never looking at the blessing of the here and now. I wonder why that is?
    I love looking back on the goodtimes and learning from the bad of the past so I can make the here now, the future brighter with the lords help.

    Well, I enjoyed my visit, my coffee cup is empty and I hear my parrots screaming.

    I hope your day is good and have a safe Labor Day.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Hi Patti.
    I could not agree with you more ... we do what we can with what we have, when we need to. I am one who has stayed home for 19 years and need to be reminded from time to time that it was of value. That my time counted and my efforts to invest in our children in this manner, will bring a return.
    This really is such a personal decision and not one to make lightly, nor one to judge others by. I have a great deal of respect for both moms who work outside of their homes as well as those who don't. And neither do I feel is better than the other. I wish society would not put such a stigma on both of them. I had a child tell me once that I was "lazy" for staying home. His mom is well educated and works out of the home and does very well financially. I knew he was just a child, but boy did that make me think. I know darn well I am not lazy, but regret not trying to get an education while educating my own children.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Hello Patty....I was very grateful to have spent the early years at home with my children. We were poor but I was with them as they learned to walk, talk, and learn.

    Those years go by SO FAST that savoring every second is so important.

    After that, I usually worked part-time and always contributed to the family budget. Take care. Susan

    ReplyDelete
  7. Patty, I would have to agree with you I don't think things have improved for working mother over the last 30 years. If anything has changed I think things have gotten worse. The of the down turn in the economy has put even more pressure on young working families. Your garden is lovely, like the lambs ears, Laura

    ReplyDelete
  8. Ty for featuring my comment. =D Your garden is so beautiful!

    I do struggle when it comes to be at stay at home mom vs an out of the home working mom. I worked when my first son was 3 months old for a couple of months, and it helped us out so much. I also missed firsts when I was working and it completely tore me apart. So, we decided I would stay at home. But now today, I wonder if its the right thing. I love being with my children, I am forever grateful that I get to watch them grow every minute of the day. But I feel guilty that the burden of the income is on my husband, I started a business working from home, so i'm hoping to help earn a little extra money. This is a daily struggle for many mother's that I know.

    I fully support moms who want to work outside of the home, or they have to, to help and I fully support moms who stay home. I hate that there is bitterness between stay at home moms and working mothers. It's truly sad.

    ReplyDelete